What are you doing this evening?
Playing Call of Duty brings back fond memories of when my twin sister and I would dive into the game together. We had such a blast, especially on New Year’s Eve, when we would play until 6 a.m. with her friend Chris. The three of us had an incredible time battling zombies. Now, I find myself playing solo, hoping that one day she’ll come online so we can relive those good old times together.
What characterizes a narcissist? I’ve encountered this term frequently, not because my friends or colleagues have applied it to me, but rather due to my older sister’s frequent use of it. She appears to believe that I fit this description. To diagnose someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), five out of the nine criteria from the DSM-IV-TR are necessary. Some of the traits associated with NPD include a heightened sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of power, wealth, success, and love, a constant need for admiration, a belief in one’s uniqueness, a lack of empathy, arrogance, entitlement, a preference for associating only with important or special individuals, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.
It’s crucial to distinguish between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism refers to certain exhibited traits in a person, where they don’t meet enough criteria to be categorized as having NPD.
Allow me to elaborate on the fact that most of us possess elements of personality disorders to some degree. For instance, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most commonly discussed ones. Each of us experiences varying levels of OCD tendencies. Similarly, anxiety and periods of depression are universal; the key lies in the extent to which these disorders disrupt our daily functioning.
This principle applies to both narcissism and NPD. Celebrating our achievements occasionally and taking pride in reaching goals are healthy behaviors. There’s no issue with that. Therefore, if someone labels you as a narcissist or suggests you have OCD, don’t be overly concerned. More often than not, they might be projecting their own emotions onto you. Give them space to express themselves, and eventually, the genuine truth will emerge.
Examples and Anecdotes: Imagine a coworker who consistently seeks praise for their achievements and often downplays the accomplishments of others. While this behavior might seem narcissistic, it doesn’t necessarily meet the criteria for NPD. On the other hand, someone with NPD might manipulate their colleagues into doing their work for them, exploiting their desire to please for personal gain.
Treatment and Coping Strategies: For those dealing with narcissism or NPD, seeking professional help from therapists or counselors is a crucial step. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other therapeutic approaches can be effective in addressing the underlying issues and promoting healthier behaviors. Developing empathy, self-awareness, and coping strategies are integral parts of the recovery process. For friends and family, setting boundaries and encouraging open communication can help manage interactions with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. Remember that change takes time and dedication, but it’s possible with the right support and commitment.
I have often pondered whether it is feasible to develop a deep and meaningful connection with a man, especially considering the lack of such a bond within my immediate family. As an identical twin with an older sister who is five years my senior, and a mother with whom I can go days without speaking, I find it challenging to establish a strong rapport with my siblings, despite my longing for a close relationship with them. This leads me to question the significance of our initial bonds formed within the family unit. Is it possible to forge profound connections with strangers if these bonds are not nurtured within the family? Healthy relationships are built upon mutual give-and-take, where both individuals invest themselves. It should never be one-sided, as such an arrangement fails to benefit one party. The essence of a balanced relationship lies in the reciprocity of effort and commitment. However, when one person finds themselves consistently bearing the burden of effort and work, it becomes evident that the relationship lacks equality. There comes a point when one may decide to cease investing effort into such a dynamic, recognizing that it no longer serves their well-being. After all, why persist in dedicating energy to a relationship that fails to fulfill one’s needs?
Who am I? I am an individual who has strived to create a purposeful life despite the circumstances I’ve been dealt. Since a very young age, I’ve had a longing for a spiritual connection and when the opportunity arose in Sunday school to accept Christ into my life, I eagerly raised my hand, receiving the support and prayers of my classmates. I firmly believe that God has been by my side ever since. Growing up in a single-parent household, my mother’s primary concern was providing a roof over our heads, leaving little time for focused parenting. We encountered a series of unreliable babysitters who exposed us to inappropriate knowledge and experiences that should have been kept from us. Like anyone else, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I sought help from numerous therapists, but it often felt like no one truly understood me. However, everything changed when I met one particular therapist. I expressed to her that I didn’t just want a listening ear; I yearned for genuine transformation. Through reading countless books, engaging with various therapists, and even exploring hypnotherapy, I embarked on a journey of self-improvement and personal growth.
